I’m not going to talk about my job due to a “situation”; I won’t elaborate, but suffice to say I’ll say something on or after 5th February, when I know what’s happening. I also don’t want to say anything about my romantic life, as I have a history of jinxing myself that way (not to mention the fact that my mother reads this dreck, and her knowing anything of my romantic life is invariably bad luck). So, what else can I possibly talk about?
Well, how about how hard it is to get up in the mornings in January. Yeah, not much of a topic, but it has to be said, I feel drained in this month, physically and mentally, likely due to the dark mornings and evenings. It wasn’t a problem over Christmas, when I wouldn’t get up until after 8am anyway, and was staying in a nice warm house with my meals cooked for me; but since coming back to London and returning to work, it’s been… problematic. I’ve been too lethargic in the mornings to do more than make breakfast — I haven’t been making lunch to take to work with me, and I haven’t been hard-boiling eggs to complement my seeds/nuts/berries/yoghurt (at least I’m still doing that, instead of adding milk to generic cereal like I did until 2014). This means I get hungry by 12pm and have to go out to get some lunch, though at least I’m keeping that at under £5/day.
It was also particularly cold in the mornings last week; fortunately it’s milding out again (yes, I just invented a term), but for several days it was even more unpleasant to get up, due to my room being below 16°C, and the only way I’ve been able to survive has been by wearing my dressing gown to bed (and turning on my electric heater, which fortunately I didn’t give away). The cold also sapped my will to stay out in the evenings, and for the first half of last week I eschewed salsa dancing, climbing etc. in order to come straight back here and put the heating on, since starting early seems to be the only way to get my room anywhere near 20°C by the end of the evening. I’m not even playing video games every evening I stay home: sometimes I’m too lethargic even to do that much, and I just web-browse and watch TV until bedtime…
Something else I’ve noted is that I’m going to bed earlier these days: not consciously for health reasons, but simply because I’m feeling tired. In my youth (okay, mid-thirties) I could stay up until 2am at the weekend, playing games and/or watching films, yet now I find 11pm to be a good time to curl up in bed, especially if I’m in Worthing visiting my folks, and even on Friday nights I’m often too lazy to write my diary, leaving it until Sunday night (as I’m doing now — I call them “Sunday night specials”). What’s wrong with me? Am I getting old, unable to (ahem) party all night like I used to? Or worse: am I getting sensible, and choosing to go to bed at a civilised hour?
It’s probably just that I’m having a nice hot shower each evening, in the nice warm upstairs bathroom (which suddenly has good hot water pressure at the same time that the colder one downstairs doesn’t), and so am feeling calm and relaxed, and ready to sleep. And tonight I’m recovering from not only personal training on Friday, but a couple of hours of climbing this afternoon, so of course I’m going to be tired — who wouldn’t be? So, in a few minutes I’ll be off to bed, and hopefully rest well enough to punch Monday in the stomach (or some equally-violent metaphor).
Or maybe it’s just these dark mornings and nights — which, let’s face it, everyone hates — that are getting me down, and in the spring and summer, thanks to increased daylight, I’ll feel energised enough to get up extra-early and play video games before work, like I started to do when I got Duke Nukem Forever in 2011… yeah, right! I remember things getting better in February more than once, so I know I’ve just got to endure this dark, miserable month, just like everyone else, and then I’ll see improvement.
Nonetheless, I miss being able to do more interesting things than sleep; when are they going to bring out those pills from American Dad! that let you stay up all night but still feel rested? I could always use an extra six or seven hours a day… with that amount of time to fill, I’d have no choice but to learn the guitar at last!
(P.S. I’ve spent so long on this that it’s well after midnight — so it’s your fault I’m losing sleep! I hope you’re happy…)