Still a lot of work to do

It is the struggle itself that is most important.  We must strive to be more than we are.  It does not matter that we will never reach our ultimate goal; the effort yields its own rewards.
—Mr. Data, Star Trek: The Next Generation (S3E16, “Offspring”)

sisyphusI know I don’t write in this blog much these days, but don’t worry, I haven’t finished sorting out my life yet, and still have advice to give that might just help people out there who are going through their own stuff.Although my life is considerably better than it was this time last year, and I’m working in a job not only better than the shift-based one but far more in line with my skills than Camden admin, I can still face hardships and need to find ways to overcome them.  Today certainly brought that home: I may be in my job permanently now (and I’ve already lasted longer than the last two guys combined, which is to say, longer than two months and three days!), but I’ve still got a lot to learn, especially when it comes to the noble art of lying to staff.  What I’ve learned during a very busy day as an IT support technician:

      Never admit you don’t know who the boss is — simply say “I’ve not had the pleasure of his/her acquaintance yet”, rather than “who’s that?”


    Don’t admit to serious problems with the hardware your team has purchased — instead tacitly acknowledge that there are teething problems that will be resolvedDon’t leave tickets in the general queue for “anyone” to pick up if it’s your job to assign them — if necessary, nag whoever’s in to give you some guidanceKeep notes in the tickets, even notes that only you and the team can see, just so you know what you’ve done or discussed so farSome users are convinced they know what the problem is, and even gently explaining that, for example, computer memory doesn’t cause Citrix connection issues won’t change their mindsIf a big-screen HDTV isn’t showing images from a laptop, or error messages, or even on-screen notifications such as the channel number, it’s fine to use a VGA projector instead and put the TV away — perhaps there’s a lesson in there for us all about over-reliance on complicated technology…

As you can tell, I’ve got a way to go, though my colleagues certainly like me and want me to succeed in this role; I’m not hanging by a thread, I’m getting my rough edges sandpapered off, and building on a solid foundation (not to mention badly mixing my metaphors).  I might need to start taking St. John’s wort again in limited doses, just to provide a small emotional boost to cope with days like today (especially at this time of year, as the nights draw in), but I hope not, as it tends to make me a bit nauseous.  I’m already managing so well without it, it’d be a shame to take a step backwards — though even today wasn’t anywhere near as bad as some of the days I’ve had this year, and it’s clear my anxiety is 99% situational!

It seems I’ve also got a lot of work to do when it comes to getting a girlfriend… aw, hey, you didn’t think I’d stop talking about that aspect of my life, did you?  I just have to hope that women will be impressed when they see how much happier I am in my life nowadays (despite all the work I’ve got to do), and that this will serve to lure them in, where my previous life as an admin boy didn’t.  I do acknowledge that my biggest problem is meeting women I actually want to be with: I’ve had plenty of dates since mid-2013, but too many times I’ve been a bit relieved when nothing more came of it.  I guess the real lesson to learn is not to come on too strong on the rare occasions I really do find someone “right” for me, as happened all too recently (not quite on the anniversary of that day, but close enough).

At the risk of sounding clichéd: life’s a journey, and you’ve shared part of my journey with me over the past three years.  I’d like to think I’m close to my destination, but really, there’s no such thing as a happy ending because nothing ever ends… suffice to say, as per my original pledge, this blog will go on as long as it needs to, even if I never truly overcome depression or find love, because the journey’s as important as the destination!


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