You’ll be pleased to know that I’ve been feeling a lot better in 2015, at least since coming back to London; you wouldn’t have thought it from how upset I was on Saturday when I had to face up to leaving my mother and grandmother (I would have stayed until Sunday, but it would have involved getting a bus to Littlehampton), and indeed during the journey I felt dark and brooding, but almost as soon as I got off the Northern Line at Finchley Central and breathed fresh air again, I felt remarkably better!
I’m still unemployed, but — BUT — I’ve had phone interviews this week, and indeed a face-to-face interview in Aldgate today, so I’m hopeful that things are finally changing for the better in my life (though it was disconcerting to be called by an agency recruiter who wanted to put me forward for essentially the same job as the one I’d just been interviewed for, at the same company!). Just gotta have faith that (a) I deserve to work in an IT helpdesk role, and (b) I’m actually capable of getting one.
Pessimistically I’ve been feeling that it’s all my fault for screwing up and not appreciating the job I had in November, and thus getting quasi-fired from a “decent” job. Which is wrong, because I didn’t enjoy it, and I wasn’t doing anything wrong by continuing to apply for jobs — and just because “other people” can do 24/7 shift jobs, doesn’t mean I’m capable of doing them as well, or having a life! Bear in mind I wasn’t even learning anything useful about IT at that job (and I mean in both the sense of “information technology” and “it”, because remember the adult nature of the business!).
It’s worth noting that back in 1997, during the summer between my first and second years at university, I worked for a supermarket (one which no longer exists and was taken over by the Co-op) — I had no pride issue with stacking shelves, as it meant money to supplement the meagre student grant that West Sussex County Council grudgingly let me have. Unfortunately, having evening shifts on Thursday and Friday, and an all-day shift on Saturday, came to be a problem when classes started again in the autumn, and I had classes all day on Thursday and Friday (indeed, overlapping with my shifts) — which meant I essentially had no free time for three days of the week! Not being able to relax on Saturday was bad, and not being able to relax on Friday night was worse, but not being able to go to the sci-fi club on Thursday evenings? Ecch!
When they confirmed they couldn’t (or wouldn’t) change my shifts, I felt I had to quit — it was affecting my sanity — but at least there I liked the people I was working with (possibly except the chavvy bloke who stacked shelves with me, though even he turned out to be a closet Doctor Who fan!), and I was sad to leave. Other than that, and the aforementioned horrible job I had in late 2004 (and the temp job I went into that from), I’ve never left a job of my own accord other than to go to university — which shows you how determined I am to stay on at a company, and how bad things have to be for me to leave… and thus how bad things were at that job in November, as I began trying to leave almost immediately!
(Do you want me to stop going on about it? Okay, how about I talk about Gwar instead? There, are you sorry now? Good, now shut up and listen!)
If tomorrow I’m told I got the job I interviewed for today, things are gonna get better in my life. Admittedly the first part of my journey will involve the Bank branch of the Northern Line (always packed in the mornings), and the second part will involve the Metropolitan / District / Circle / Hammersmith & City Line (which collectively have the most consistent delays of all London transport), but I’ll find a way to get a seat, or at least read e-books standing up. I’ll be getting paid again and won’t have to spend all day sitting at home applying for jobs, and can thus get back to enjoying my life — and hopefully this time, enjoying work as well as play.
One other thing: although last year I ported my mobile number to O2 thanks to 3 having such appalling signal here in Finchley, today I completed the reverse process and took my number back to 3, who have gotten their act together at last. Excellent signal strength now, but as long as I’ve got a usable signal at all, they’re way cheaper than the competition — especially when you consider that O2 won’t let you check your voicemail using bundle minutes, so I paid £10 for a bundle and then had to pay another £10 (minimum) as “normal” credit! All in all, I regret the original move — if I’d held on for just another few, er, weeks…
So here’s hoping 2015 really is beginning well for your humble narrator. If tomorrow I post something happy, you’ll know I was successful; if I don’t, well, either I failed on this occasion (and so on to the next one), or I was too busy going bowling with “best mate” to bother writing something for you guys!