Just a quick one tonight: I’ve conquered my anxiety, or at least got it under control for the time being. Much as the dismal rain cleared up at lunchtime, so my spirits rose; I had a number of issues yesterday, and I managed to resolve them today:
- I’m finally feeling some confidence in my current job, and while I don’t want to stay in it for longer than a couple of months, I finally think I know what I’m doing, and what transferable skills I can take from it (ever heard of Nagios? No, nothing to do with pornographic TV!).
- I couldn’t remember seeing my passport since I took it to work on my first
daynight last week, and hadn’t remembered finding it when moving my entire room around on Wednesday; I was worried I’d left it in the office, or lost it somewhere between Brondesbury Park and Finchley, but tonight I found it, er, under something on a shelf. D’oh!
- Despite failing at personal training last week, today I did magnificently. It’s almost as though my fear and worry were transformed into energy… and I’m seeing my trainer again next week to do some boxing, which should really help me get some frustration out!
- After the January 2012-esque nausea I experienced, which meant I couldn’t have a proper breakfast this morning, I managed to have a big, protein- and vegetable-rich dinner (well, Quorn burgers with sliced tomato and a handful of rocket) — and unlike last Friday, I finished both!
- My mentor at my IT agency says he’ll sort out getting me refunded my travel costs from when I was an intern — and not before time!
- I’ve got an evening shift next week when British Gas want to come and look at our loft, but they’ll let me rearrange. (Yes, I actually got a bit worried about that!)
- “Best mate” had wanted to go to an event, but didn’t mind when I declined, as he wanted to find a TV with Sky Sports so he could watch Ireland play some football match or other.
I’ve actually had a perfectly nice Friday evening, perhaps for no other reason than that it’s felt “normal” — I went from work to see my personal trainer, and then came home to have dinner and watch TV (and a movie). Perhaps that’s what I want to get back to — and if my attempted IT career fails, I can always fall back on admin, at which I’m a demon.
Now, I’m going to have a jolly good sleep, since one of my housemates (no, not the drummer, he’s on tour — I mean the other guy who cut us off the Internet last year) stopped me nodding off in a timely manner last night. Sleep well…