It occurred to me, on the bus to the Castle this afternoon, that actually not only are things better in my life than they once were, but they’re somehow better in London as well, almost as though my mind is psychically linked to the Smoke, and we’re both improving together…
Ooh, mystical, innit? Well, first of all I’m over the funk I went through up to Tuesday — that group never told me what I did wrong, and so I’m done with them. I’m not going to let them make me ashamed of my overt heterosexuality, either: I realised at that bar in Hermosa Beach (last May, at the end of my big American holiday) that I’d actually rather girls regarded me as a sleazy womaniser than completely ignored me, and my best bet really does seem to be to make a nuisance of myself, go too far, tread on some toes, and ultimately, through a lot of experience, find the comfortable middle ground in which I can get girls to notice me without offending them.
(Obviously I don’t want to go too too far and get myself arrested, or I’ll be fulfilling aim no.1 of 2014 in an entirely passive way, courtesy of my cellmate… hence why I got the hell out of Dodge in Hermosa Beach, and similarly the Japanese meetup group on Tuesday!)
And similarly, looking back at my (nearly) 11 years in London, it seems things are broadly better here too. I think what did it for me was looking down a road in Camden that I seem to recall slipping and sliding down one freezing evening in December 2009, having given up trying to get a bus from outside the big Sainsbury’s back to Caledonian Road due to a massive traffic jam; I can’t recall the last time the weather was so bad in this city! Yeah, it rains too damn much (especially when it ought to be sunny), but disastrous days like that are a distant memory.
It actually feels somehow like things in London got better when I moved away from Caledonian Road, as well as my life; okay, there were still bad days for the Tube (like the morning I had to sit at Finchley Central for 30 minutes), just as there were bad days where I broke down, but the broad sweep of events was improvement. By contrast, in 2011, I was almost at my wits’ end (yes, and with me being a half-wit, ha ha, very droll), and the London Riots erupted and caused chaos.
Things aren’t perfect today, as evinced by my gloom at the start of the week, but my occasional lapses, none of which have been as bad as I experienced even as recently as 2013, are getting farther and farther apart, just as London gradually emerges from the bad old days of endless snow days and Tube chaos. Why, I can’t even remember the last time I had trouble getting to work that wasn’t my own stupid fault!
But oh, how I wish for a big thunderstorm, and a hot girlfriend — both things which seem to elude me lately…