Cool things: Beavis and Butt-head

beavbuttEverything I’ve posted here under “cool things” has been something that’s cheered me up when I’ve been down at some point in my life, and this cartoon duo is no exception.  Why, there was a day in 1996, around the time I made my first futile attempt to ask a girl out and, through a chain of circumstance that I won’t endeavour to explain, had a massive falling-out with my grandparents (with whom I lived at the time), that the antics of this pair of sniggering filthy-minded American teenagers lifted my spirits until my mother could mediate the dispute…

Umm… what’s this dude saying, Butt-head?
Uhh… I dunno.  But he’s talking like a buttmunch.
Yeah, really.  Change the channel!
You’re the one with the remote, Beavis, you change it.

Don’t tell me what to do, bunghole!

That was cool!  Hey, is that Dave-loss dude, like, still talking about stuff that sucks?

…although my friends thought it was juvenile and looked down on me even more for being a fan, the show kept me going during those depressing days at university when, much like this duo, I couldn’t get a girlfriend…

Uh huh huh huh, what a wussie.
Yeah really, even Winger would kick him in the nads, heh heh hm heh heh.
Uhh… change the channel, maybe there’s, like, something on that doesn’t suck.

Change it back, maybe that dude’s, like, started talking about something cool, like explosions or naked chicks.
Yeah, yeah, explosions!  Heh heh hm heh heh, ffffire!
Shut up Beavis, you’ll get us, like, banned by MTV again, or something.

…went back to see the film a second time, and I was the only person in the room, so I put my feet up on the seat in front, Travis Bickle-style, and naturally got it on video when it came out…

Uh huh huh huh huh, “came out”.
Umm… what movie’s he talking about?
Uhhh… who cares, he’s a stupid bungwipe.  Change the channel, maybe there’s, like, something about butts.

Uh huh huh huh, one day I’m gonna get, like, a tattoo of a butt, with a butt-shaped tattoo on it, on my butt.  That would be cool, uh huh huh huh!
Yeah, me too.  That would rule, heh heh hm heh heh!
Uhh… oh no, that wussie’s back on again.

…bought several of the videos, though sadly they were consumed in the terrible purge of January 2012, and later got hold of the official DVDs, though they’re edited, which sucks (not just to remove the music video reviews, but also to take out random bits of episodes for no reason).  Fortunately, my newest friend (the guy I go climbing with) got hold of the entire series in unedited form…

Uh huh huh huh, censorship is cool.  Like, when they put those black bars on people’s thingies?

Uhh… dammit, that Rave-dos dude keeps coming on the TV.  He must be, like, on every channel or something.
Nyaaah, butthole, get the hell off our TV, dammit!!!

Don’t change it, dude — he must be about to say something cool, like, because of the law of beverages, or something.

…and since I’ve been watching the entire series on my smartphone on my long Tube journeys in the mornings, I’ve discovered that I’m a metal fan, getting into bands like Black Sabbath and Gwar, who have helped me overcome the depression that blighted…

Check it out, he said “long tube”!  Heh heh hm heh heh, boioioioioing!
Shut up Beavis, he also said “Gwar”.  Uh huh huh huh, Gwar rules!
Yeah, really!  I wonder if there’s, like, a video on.

That was cool!  Is there anything else, like, on?  Uh huh huh huh, “on”.
Um… no, it’s that wussie again.  Dammit, he makes me want to get some nachos.
Uhh… why?
Um… so I wouldn’t, like, be here, watching him on TV, heh heh hm heh heh.

…watching the series right from the beginning, since I’m a purist and have also been re-reading Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels from the start, and putting whole albums on my smartphone instead of specific tracks…

Uhh… this sucks — like, he won’t shut up and stuff.  Like, it’s the same stuff over and over again.  Uh huh huh huh huh huh…
Yeah, heh heh heh hm heh heh, he needs to get some, like, new ideas or something.
Uhh… what should we do, like, while we wait for him to not be talking and stuff?
Um… let’s go break something!

Uh huh huh huh, yeah, that would be cool.


4 thoughts on “Cool things: Beavis and Butt-head

  1. Pingback: Sounds that really grind my gears | Dave-ros Lives!

  2. Pingback: On into 2014 | Dave-ros Lives!

  3. Pingback: Cool things: Gwar | Dave-ros Lives!

  4. Pingback: Cool Things: The Revenge | Dave-ros Lives!

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