Rock bottom?

Today I think I reached an all-time low, and that’s even considering that December 2011 and January 2012 were off the negative end of the bipolar scale: at least back then I had a house move looming over me, with all the stress of finding a new home in London.  It seems that any cheerfulness I managed to derive from this weekend (such as watching old episodes of Lee & Herring’s This Morning with Richard Not Judy or The Rocky Horror Picture Show, or managing to do some 5s at climbing) had pretty much gone by this morning, and the bad neck I somehow sustained during my journey to a climbing session (it wasn’t too bad during, but very bad afterwards) pretty much drove me down.  Ibuprofen didn’t help the pain even slightly, and then there’s the fact that it’s a gloomy October Monday…

What this proved to me is that I haven’t really gotten over my depression, and indeed must have made no real progress since the dark days of 2011, if I can still feel this down purely because an old friend got married.  As a result, I’ve decided to stop using Facebook (yes, I know, “serious business” and “first world problems”, but still) and focus on getting better.  If nothing else, I’ll spare my friends having to read about my depression every day on Facebook, and having to behave like armchair psychiatrists to help me.  It’s not something mere muggles can help me with, so I’m going to talk to my work’s counselling service tomorrow to see if they can salvage anything (something I should have done before, instead of letting “the threat of counselling” do the equivalent of “scaring me straight”).

Don’t worry, I’ll continue to post here about how I’m feeling, so those of you who read this (along with all those retarded spammers who don’t realise that WordPress has spam filters on its comments — yes, I’m firing off complaints to their employers) will know that, at least for the time being (and I have no intention of letting it change in the near future)…

Dave-ros Lives!

(P.S. At least this post means that the last thing on my blog won’t be the word “Hitler”… oh, wait, it nearly was anyway!  Careful Dave-ros, don’t give in to Godwin’s Law…)


4 thoughts on “Rock bottom?

  1. Pingback: Climbing out of depression | Dave-ros Lives!

  2. Pingback: Unwitting dictators | Dave-ros Lives!

  3. Pingback: Actually, yes, some improvement | Dave-ros Lives!

  4. Pingback: Recovering from setbacks | Dave-ros Lives!

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